Follow the Beard
On This Day 60 Years Ago
I haven’t written anything about Dad in a while. It isn’t because I’m not thinking about him. In fact, I think about him more than ever now that he’s gone.
Today is Dad’s birthday. He would be 60 today. I wanted to do something special on this day like write a poem or throw a party in his honor. Instead, I’m just meditating and writing this. I wonder what it is like for him today. Do they celebrate birthday’s in heaven? I think they do. But which one? The day of physical birth on earth? The day of new birth through God’s Spirit? The day of death and new life in heaven? Or is every day in heaven like an eternal birthday party?
A huge thing I’ve realized since Dad died is how much he really did mean to me. As much as we butted heads and clashed in personality, and as much as he annoyed me…
I still really do miss that guy. I miss him deep down where it hurts. I’ve even gotten mad at God about it. Foolish me. I sure am glad that God is patient and longsuffering. And that He listens and speaks in a still small voice. Grace.
God reminded me that Dad was a gift that I didn’t deserve. And isn’t that what birthdays are all about anyway? A day we celebrate a gift from Almighty God. We did not create ourselves. We had nothing to do with making ourselves exist or being loved. So today I choose to remember that gift. Grace.
I bet Dad is having the best day ever. After all, he is partying with the best Gift-giver in the universe.
Happy birthday, Dad. I miss you. And I can’t wait to party with you guys in the sweet by and by. ‘Cuz there ain’t no party like a Creator-God party, ‘cuz the Creator-God party is mandatory…
Irresistible grace.
I like to think about celebrations in heaven… and I LOVE the 30 Rock reference =)
Thanks Tim! God gave me grace for Dad’s birthday too! I actually sang at church for the first time in about a year or so. I was able to share with my church family some of my feelings these past few months. It is only God’s grace I can get through each day. It is suffocating to think of another day without him, but if I just accept God’s help today, I get through. Not without tears but with God’s presence and peace. I can honestly say I have never felt alone, but I have been lonesome every day for your Dad. It is well with me, but I will never be fine in the same way as when your Dad was right there beside me. It was a happy birthday for me because I felt like I could talk out loud some of my feelings. I left a bouquet of yellow roses tied up in yellow ribbons on Dad’s marker. I still want him with my whole heart! Our journey is not over and forever with him one day will be just right! Love, Mom
“Dad was a gift I didn’t deserve” and was never meant to earn. I am still trying (in some ways) to earn the gift of my dad…”foolish me”.
Thanks Tim.
Tiff, isn’t it awesome to think that heaven will be even better than our imagination can dream!? And I was wondering if anyone would catch that 30 Rock reference. You win.
Mom, I’m really amazed by you. It’s awesome that you were able to share your heart with your church on Dad’s birthday. Separation hurts when you love someone. I’m glad you love Dad like you do.
John, I still believe grace is the most difficult thing to believe in. But it’s so great when you do.